Peer pressure is the influence exerted by peers or other social groups to ensure conformity to group norms, beliefs, dress codes, and behaviors. We associate it most often with adolescents and children, but it can be found among all age groups. It can lead to a strictly stratified society in high school, or a rigid pecking order in an organization. It rewards conformity and penalizes individuality. Acceptance into the favored group is dependent upon conforming to their rules and values, even if the rules change on a regular basis. Original thinking, dress, or even taste in music results in expulsion from the group. While adolescents are developing a secure identity, identification with a group can be a healthy part of development. Problems arise when the “popular group” becomes synonymous with the powerful group, and exerts control way beyond its individual members. The in-group then not only creates and defines itself but also creates and defines the out-group. Exclusion, rejection, and ridicule are the only way to do this. So not only do members of the in-group learn to demean others, but those in the out-group learn they are deficient in some way. Marginalization is awful to experience, but can be undone by support, insight, and, simply, graduation. However, members of the popular group leave school genuinely handicapped: they now make themselves feel better by making others feel worse.
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When I was in elementary school and middle school it was really difficult to not want to be in the “popular” group. However, my mother taught me at a young age that those kids in that group were the ones with the lowest self esteem and would end up bringing me down. She was absolutely correct. Even though it was hard to be on the outside and to not be accepted by everyone, I found that I felt stronger and empowered by being who I was and staying true to myself and making friends who only cared about the type of person I was. I began to become “popular” in my own way by simply being kind and compassionate towards everyone and accepting everyone for who they were, not what they wore or who they hung out with, which I still do in my adult life.