Siblings

Siblings matter.  No matter if we are kids ourselves or all grown up, our brothers and sisters are an important part of our lives.  The importance of sibling relationships tends to be minimized, even though our siblings can be the lengthiest relationship we ever have.  While everyone’s experience growing up in a family is unique, no one understands our family like our siblings do.  They share our family history.  They remember us when.  They remember when I threw up on my birthday cake or when our brother used the car without asking.  If I mention THE fight between Mom & Dad, I don’t have to explain what THE fight was about.  It is among our siblings that we first learn (or not) to share, to negotiate, to manage conflict, and to resonate with another.  Even if there is an estrangement, we cannot divorce a brother or a sister.  Friendships can end, but sibling-ships continue for a lifetime.  There are some exceptions, however, like an addiction or narcissism, where a sibling’s behavior or choices can rule out closeness. But our siblings tend to see – and tell – the truth about us.  And we see – and tell – the truth about them.  We can teach our children and grandchildren to value their siblings, no matter how mad they are at each other at the moment.  And even if we still have no idea how we could possibly be related, we can still sustain and affirm our own sibling relationships.